January 2012
37 posts
Don’t depend on anyone but yourself because you’ll...
ok fuck you too
I should be used to disappointment by now.
i have this weird self esteem problem where i hate myself yet i still think i’m better than everyone else
2 tags
happy friday the 13th guys
today was a nice day
i woke up at 7 and i thought it was way too early, and that i should just sleep for a little longer.
you know, i wanted to have a pretty early start to finish all my work.
and i wake up for the second time and its 9 fucking 30.
my life
but whatever.
i dressed and went for a quick jog around the neighborhood
oh how sweet the morning air is, if thats still considered the...
lets be bestfriends
ill work on it
alright?
big shrug
i absolutely love how i seem so whiny to you
how i come off as just a complaining little fuck that bags on herself
all the fucking time.
and can’t ever be satisfied.
i mean, sure thats what i feel like sometimes,
but i don’t ever seem to giddy or happy around you.
not because of you, it’s probably just always talking to me at the wrong time
or maybe it is a little because...
it’s great being weird and unique
but there still is a normality in being weird right?
i think people that are in the edges of that zone are considered the “coolest”,
the most “unique”
and you cross that line
and they become truly “weird” and losers.
but i admire the “losers” or “freaks”
they’re courageous.
the true...
i’m more used to other people wanting me than me wanting other people
i think thats how my ego reached the moon
its gr8 that im learning some humility
but i feel unwanted
but i guess
i have to learn not to be surrounded by crowds of people
and how to stick it out alone.
yeah,
…
into new york, preferably
everyone sucks
i hate everyone
they all have their perfect little lives
and im over here breaking down every moment
you all have social lives and everyone likes you
i have a deep dreading feeling that no one really likes me deep down
fuck you
sometimes i just want to disappear
i totally broke down yesterday
and i didn’t even realize it until now.
well, all the skies have cleared and i guess the sun is shining through,
the walk home was nice, though a little warm
and i’m going to finish all my work today.
because of course, tomorrows finally friday!
my life is falling apart
or so it seems
and i want no one to help me
i can’t depend on anyone
i wish i could on my parents
but they’re part of the cause
and the rest just fall down like dominoes
i really wish i had the courage to get away from all this
i hate who i am in school
but theres no way i can help it right
if i really showed what i felt
oh dear god send that sick girl to the therapist
or something like that
December 2011
38 posts
Defenestrations: Words are redundant. →
jayarrarr:
You said I love you And I said Don’t tell me — Show me.
Show me by doing That thing I hate doing Because you know I hate doing it.
Show me by breaking The small blocks in my path So I can take care of the big ones.
Show me by singing Me to sleep And waking me with coffee.
Show me
no Im just making a big deal out of nothing
anons are just cowards…
with the truth, right?
am I too much of a try-hard?
I feel really worthless at the moment
but I try really hard not to be….
this sucks
I’m getting really worked up over nothing
so
fucking
dissapointed in myself
regarding
emotions toward
you.
asshole.
I’ll say that and try not to take it back.
that’s a start,
right?
look at that
will you look at that
my hands are like oceans
my heart is beating fast
and my head is woozy
my breaths are coming out in short little bursts
my stomachs a little light as well
all because you called me
will you look at that
it was a tragedy
crying my freaking eyes out
I wish I had a boyfriend to watch that with me and for me to cry on
but I have a butt ugly crying face
lol I have an ugly face in general
Do you ever feel like the back-up friend?
The one that they hit up when everybody else bails out on them. The one they hit up only when they need something. The one they hit up when nobody else wants to talk. Always the back-up, never the first priority? Yeah, it sucks.
jesus christ I’m such an over emotional faggot
I need a replacement word for faggot
how about twerp
my posts are all about me and my internal conflicts
well that’s good I don’t post where people I talk about can see it
so maybe I should just use names instead of vague pronouns
4 tags
it’s anyone but me, huh
well then fuck you I’ll start to try forgetting you
besides I don’t need someone like you
you were just a rebound.
yeah that’s right
you’re annoying
fat
and ugly
oh my dear god what am I saying
watch mw turn around and love you the instant you talk to me again
no I won’t
you disgust me
fuck you
you’re ignoring me on purpose
lol you cunt
I hate you
no I don’t think I can
lol I have issues